Many parents and teachers have concerns about Facebook usage among our children. The Facebook Terms of Service state that the recommended age for owning a Facebook profile is 13:
If you are under age 13, please do not attempt to register for Facebook or provide any personal information about yourself to us. If we learn that we have collected personal information from a child under age 13, we will delete that information as quickly as possible. If you believe that we might have any information from a child under age 13, please contact us through this help page.
But in reality many children younger than this have an active Facebook profile with or without their parents permission. If you are aware that your child has created a Facebook profile, you will need to ensure that all the appropriate safety and security settings are in place, including important home rules for use of online media. You may be concerned about them entering the world of Facebook, but with a little parental control, social media and networking can be an empowering and useful tool for your teen. It is also a great way for your older children to stay in touch and connect with an extended family. My whole family is on Facebook and we have a ‘secret’ closed group that we all belong to and can freely post pictures and tease each other without the whole world seeing. My daughters are still too young to be on Facebook but when they are old enough, I will be discussing the below rules and guidelines with them to ensure their online safety and reputation is protected.
Social Media Sorted: Safety Rules for Kids on Facebook
- Do not fill out any identifying information! This means their address, school, age or any other personal information.
- Facebook’s privacy settings have to be set to maximum and checked regularly. Their profiles can be set to show no information to non-friends including the profile picture. Only their name will show.
- Photos are to be approved by a parent before being uploaded. Photos that have your child ‘tagged’ in them are also to be approved before allowing the tag to remain. If you don’t approve, simply ‘un-tag’ your child.
- Make sure your child only friends people they know in real life. Anyone can send you a friend request if you are a friend of a friend etc. This can be an open invitation for predators.
- ‘Friend’ your child. No objections. This one is important, because then you can see what all their friends put up on their walls.
Hint: You, the parent, are never to post anything on the kids wall. If you do, your kids will remember that you can see them and then your anonymity born of forgetfulness will be blown. To take it one step further, you should not post anything at all from your own profile. If you want to have your own Facebook experience, set up another account or, log into their account and select Hide All Posts from this user (you). - Their account email address should be an email that you have access to. Facebook allows only one profile per email address so create an extra Gmail address if you have to. This is a big one, because then they can’t change their account details, passwords etc, without you knowing.
- Give your kids a major lecture about the permanence of the Internet and the importance of a good online reputation. This will be crucial when they are older and start applying for jobs, or making contacts, or even getting credit. What they put online STAYS online, FOREVER. Deleting a post, comment or picture may remove it from sight now, but who knows if anybody has already taken a screen shot of the offending post or downloaded the photo for future use.
- Parents get full ‘Take Down Rights’. If an offensive post or photo appears on your child’s profile, you are permitted to delete immediately. Maybe get that one in writing.
- Don’t join any offensive groups or pages, or “Like” any stupid phrases. You don’t want your child affiliated with groups such as “I hate it when my Mom tries to sing to my music” or “My Teacher is a Retard”.
- Don’t be mean online! Educate your child about the consequences of cyber bullying. Computers have inserted a kind of “Separation from Consequences”. Typing a message or a comment into a computer, in the safety of your room, is a bit like launching a missile from a control room. Being mean to someone’s face means that you have to witness the damage that you have caused. You have real pain in front of you. With the online world, you don’t see the immediate consequences of your actions. And you never quite know how the other person will read your comments. The tone of voice that they read a post may not be the tone that you typed with. So make sure that everything is as you intend. Not an easy thing. Luckily, there are smiley faces to remove ambiguity
- Do not answer or comment on anyone’s questions of a personal nature. This happens a lot in ‘Chain Posting’. For example, have you seen this one: “Who is your real friend? Post this as your Status and if they know all the answers, then they are your real friend: What is your real name? Favourite colour? Shoe size? Postcode? Fathers name? Mothers name? Mothers name before she got married? Phone type? Pet’s name? Brother and/or sisters name? Your birthday? Your school? Your college? …” and it goes on. When posted as a Status Update, the posters friends clamour to fill in the blanks to prove themselves to be a ‘real friend’. This is all highly confidential personal information which can easily get into the wrong hands. Posting this on a child’s profile is a particularly insidious example of information phishing on the unwary, vulnerable and innocent.
Overall, teach your child to be make good judgments online – Think Before You Post!
Follow us on Facebook for more tips on keeping your child safe in an online world and be sure to visit Facebook’s new Family Safety Center for lots of great info, tools and resources including a soon to be released free downloadable guide for teachers.
What other rules do you suggest we add to our list?
